Its freaking long since i last post. At least half a year?!
I thought that I have been learning new things and changing. Of course, in hope that I changed to a better person. I'm starting school soon. 20th June. A new chapter of my life, studying at SIM UOL. I really hope i will not be as lazy as the usual me and strive hard for my results, living with no regrets for my future!! I want a second upper class honour! In order to do that, i'm gonna aim first class!!!! I'm sure I can do it if I want to, Jiayou!!

Went to read my friend's blog and i remembered i do have a blog!
So...i came to post
Am now studying for my last paper for the last exam in my entire poly life.* Should be the last if i'm not wrong.HAHA!*
Actually, i got nothing much to post, but the update about my health is doctor say they can't find anything now, which is a good news! So, i will only visit hospital annually for a check up to ensure that i'm perfectly alright. Thats all!!
I'M OFF TO STUDY!!!:D

I wondered how many people would randomly drop by to read my blog.
I guess random people read it or maybe no one read it but i really hoped no one reading cos i might disappoint you! LOL!

Anyway its 2nd week of school and i'm still not motivated yet.
Hope to cultivate it real soon as i know there's not much time left and i'm not performing well currently. I hope to see a change in myself that i could and would be very proud of who i am!

FION! GOGOJIAYOU!!!:D

Random post no.1
why do people often feel empty somewhere?
especially when you have nothing to do/doing some meaningless stuffs.

WHY?!! alamak!

Random post no.2
I want to change my body clock to normal.
But everytime i want to sleep, i feel like i have not accomplished anything meaningful for the day and don't have the mood to sleep due to the reason. Sleeping is like damn waste of time but i still love sleeping( cos i can dream of many impossible and funny stuffs, stop myself from worrying about this and that, etc). haha! contradicting me...........

Random post no.3
I often want to blog about happy stuffs but happiness seems to get away real fast.
Smiles are getting fake because i'm not that a happy girl.
I don't know what i have been thinking or worrying about.
I really hope to have a definite goal for me to work on.
A great interest of mine that would make me wanting to pursue it.
Have been getting lazier and lazier.
Interest to study = YES
Heart to commit into study = NO

Random post no.4
I CONTROL MY OWN DESTINY!!!
with a little bit luck that i lack of:(

erm...i'm blogging at such a timing (4.18am) the day after my blaw paper.
not studying for investment but just watching some videos! my fav past time!
felt kind of lost..i used to think that there's a chance for me to go university.
BUT NOWWW.......ITS A NO FOR ME! i really had no confidence and believed that i couldn't enter into uni. Taking into consideration of so many people around me are more hardworking than me, smarter and determined. I felt small:(
I can't imagine my future, even my academic now! I JUST HOPE THERE'S MIRACLE!!
I should probably stop dreaming! I felt that i've changed. i seems to get emotional easily maybe because of the monthly thingy. LOL! but it just felt so bad!!!

AWWWW~ i just can't wait for holiday to come!!! get me away from those stuffs!!
JUST LET ME LOVE TO STUDY FOR JUST 3 MORE DAYS AND I SHALL BE FREE FROM EVERYTHING!!
except for the friends part, POLY LIFE IS TORTURING ME!!!!
i don't even want to think what will happen tml!!

I read through my blogpost once..
and found that those posts were super duper emo or sad.just doesn't make people happy at all. LOL!! ehh. apologise for those posts and just being random. i watched a video of me and my friends and i heard one very unique laughter in it and came to realised that it was mine!! OH MY!! can't believe my laughter was so unique and hilarious!! no wonder people often laugh about how i laugh! i seriously don't know how i laugh untill like that but maybe its because i'm too unique!! haha!! just being bhb!!

update on my current health status

after surgery...
i think most of my friends especially joanna and amanda who sees me everyday.
will somehow realised that i have not been eating snacks like fries, tako balls, drumlets, nuggets and whatever. trying to lead a healthy lifestyle.
have been eating soupbase food like fishmeatbeehoon, pig organ and meatball soup, whatever that is soupy without chicken. Even for dinner, i have not been eating out for nearly a week. My dinner was like fish soup, fish porridge, meat porridge, those food that look like for sick people and WITHOUT CHICKEN AGAIN! think my family not going to eat chicken for quite a long time at home because of me! LOL! nvm! i think the guys never realised that there's no longer chicken in our lunch and dinner. WAHAHAHA!! i don't know why i cannot eat chicken. my mum only said its not good for me without any scientific or medical or whatever reasons?! But i secretly eat in school sometime.

today...
I went for hospital appointment alone to get my results.
Was super tired while waiting till i fell asleep untill it became my turn.
Doctor told me that....
It was confirmed non-cancerous( as i expected) LOL!!
So being not so suprised yet doesn't want to be suprised(meaning that would be cancerous)Its just a fibrocystic change and doc say not to worried where there should be not much of problem. Next appointment will be 6month later. There's actually still alot of particles which i do not know how is it called in medical terms.YUP! everything will be alright. This has been what i always told myself.
I believe that i'm blessed and could overcome whatever obstacles.
I hope and believe that life won't be so unfair.
I believe that no matter how much i fall, i'm still able to stand up.
After all these, i learnt to appreciate my friends, family and relatives.
GOSH! *I'M TEARING*
too gandong.

I don't know why..
But friends do forgive me sometime, i don't really know how to express my feelings sometime. i often kept secrets within myself. i'm bad in words. i'm worried to be a burden. i just want to let people to be happy around me.

sometimes i think i damn dumb.
i just couldn't control myself from being that dumb.
when i'm too tired, i can't get myself to do work.
mixed feelings right now.don't know what i typing right now.
i know my english cmi. forgive me for the poor language.

Bye friends!!:)